Greater Kansas City Pipe Club - Pipes, Tobaccos, Collecting

A COMPENDIUM OF STORIES
FROM THE LIFE AND TIMES OF OUR LEADER

EL SUPREMO

The burdens that he carries are heavy
The responsibilities weigh upon his broad shoulders
yet he never wavers in his
steadfast devotion to his people
and too the pleasures he reserves to himself.

Few are those that would doubt his justice
and fewer still are those who survive to mention this
a second time.
Seldom in the annals of history has one risen to such heights
through the strength of his arm
or the wit of his mind.
All glory to mighty El Supremo

A MESSAGE FROM EL SUPREMO (PRESIDENTE FOR LIFE)
It is I, your Benevolent Dictator, who wishes to address you. You will attend to me.

My people, we have no need for pesky elections here. They are unneccessary...

Guard, there is a man sitting there. How dare he sit in my presence! Take him away.....

As I was saying, we have no need for elections here. I know the way forward for you, my people. I have decided that I shall continue my reign and continue my work for your benefit. Our glorious struggle will endure. We shall carry forward the lighted match and the bowl of briar, the eternal flame of glory, until we enjoy the sweet smoke of enlightenment

I call upon all those who have fled to the hills out of fear that they might be appointed El Presidente. They should come down from the hills and join us in our days of honor.

And to all those who believe that an election is required, a meeting has been arranged. You should assemble out back, near that pock-marked wall, where a squad, uh, I mean a delegation of "vote counters" will attend to you shortly.

I remain, El Presidente, your servant, Quinton Wells.

A MESSAGE ABOUT EL SUPREMO
El Supremo is not pleased.

It seems that some of his minions have been, shall we say, conspiring behind his back. Some of his more rebellious subjects have been making predictions, issuing proclamations, even spreading unfounded rumors. All of this, naturally, without the consent or guiding and steadying influence of our Great Leader.

In his benevolence (which is legendary) El Supremo has decided that there need be no heads mounted on pikes at the gates. Not today at least.

Yet the rest and relaxation of Our Most Magnificent and Magnanimous Leader HAS been disturbed. He has expressed displeasure with these lies and inuendos which have circulated amoungst the unwashed masses.

El Supremo wishes all his subjects to know that, in his all knowing and all compassionate rule, only HE will determine when he shall lay down this burden of providing his people with the glory of his dominion over them.

Therefore, by edict from the very mouth of the Most Enlightened One, all this talk of his continuing in his present capacity as The Most Exhalted Ruler of this assemblage shall cease immediately. Henceforth, anyone who broaches the subject shall be tied to a stake at the waters edge. There to remain, without food or water, until the birds and crabs have finished their feast.

Reported Faithfully, by the sorry miscreant who stands accused of this rumormongering.

EL SUPREMO

I have told you several things about El Supremo (may his underwear never bind), but you do not yet know even a small parcel of the story of his life and the struggles he endures for us, his humble and ever obedient subjects. Let me speak of the dark days - the times before El Supremo (may his ketchup always flow).
Yes, my friend, there was a time before El Supremo.
We lived simple lives in the forest at the base of the mountain. Like children really. We had fruit from the trees, grain grew in abundance in the meadows, the streams were alive with fish, and game was plentiful. We each had our own hovel. Nothing fancy mind you, but to us it was home. There was peace in the valley and occassional trade with caravans that came down from the pass.
Then El Supremo arrived. He told us tales of the grander things in life. He sparked within our hearts a desire to see and experience the riches and spices the world had to offer. In the beginning only a few believed it was possible. But El Supremo was convincing and more began to heed his words. He gathered his few faithful to him and began to "encourage" the others.
And then, when the numbers of his followers had grown sufficient, he began to "discourage" those who did not heed his words. But we will not speak of this at this time, for look…. EL SUPREMO COMES!
Eeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiii
All hail El Supremo, Master of All He Has Conquered!.

THE TRAVELS OF EL SUPREMO

El Supremo (may his gardens grow lush and plentiful) embarked upon a Diplomatic Mission recently. His travels took from us his steading hand and guiding influence. We were lost. Yet upon his return, he brought stories of wonder - of lands beyond his domain. He journeyed with several of his minions to the land of the tiny cat feet and the blustery winds. He told us tales of his hob knobing with fellow wizards and even of other rulers. He brought news of tents and treasure houses filled with riches and the finest of briars. Of winds and rain that had the effrontery to impact upon the very peron of El Supremo (may his gourds grow ever longer). He told us of these other rulers and how they had the audacity to suggest that even the great El Supremo refrain from partaking of the very pleasures he had traveled so far to enjoy.
This news was troubling to many of us. The very idea that there remain lands and peoples that have not yet experienced the bliss of knowing the glory of El Supremo (may his beans not become waxy). Yes, this news was troubling. All must bend to the will of El Supremo. We must look to subjugating these other lands soon.
Yet, these tales awakened our memories of the early times of El Supremo. The time when his power and dominion over us was not yet complete. It kindled within our hearts a vision - a vision of a world not bound to his will. We must bide our time and sharpen our swords in secret. Perhaps the peoples of these other lands could assist us yet.
Enough of this! We will continue to praise El Supremo (may his cabbages rule like kings) Yes, we will hide our thoughts and serve the Master ever faithfully..... for now.